Sometimes the hardest part of writing an obituary is the first sentence.

You may already have the dates, family names, stories, and service information sitting in front of you, but getting those first words onto the page can still feel surprisingly difficult.

Part of the problem is that the opening can feel like it has to do too much. It does not.

The first line of an obituary simply needs to tell the reader who died. You can add warmth, personality, and memories as you continue.

If you are still gathering the information you need, start with our guide to what to include in an obituary. If you want help writing the full obituary from beginning to end, see how to write an obituary step by step.

What is the traditional way to start an obituary?

A traditional obituary opening usually includes the person's:

For example:

Maria Elena Torres, 78, of Richmond, Virginia, died on August 4, 2026.

That is enough.

You can add the place of death or a little more context if the family wants to:

Maria Elena Torres, 78, of Richmond, Virginia, died on August 4, 2026, surrounded by her family.

Or:

Maria Elena Torres, 78, of Richmond, Virginia, died peacefully at home on August 4, 2026.

There is nothing wrong with a straightforward opening. You do not need to find a profound sentence before you can begin.

Can an obituary opening sound warmer or more personal?

Yes.

You can add one detail that immediately tells the reader something about the person.

For example:

Maria Elena Torres, a devoted grandmother, longtime Richmond resident, and legendary Sunday-dinner host, died on August 4, 2026, at the age of 78.

Or:

Robert James Miller, who could fix almost anything and believed Saturday mornings were made for fishing, died on August 4, 2026, at the age of 82.

The opening still announces the death, but it also gives the reader a glimpse of the person.

You do not have to do this. A simple opening followed by personal details in the next paragraph works just as well.

Do you have to say "passed away"?

No.

You can say:

Some families prefer expressions such as:

Those phrases may feel right for a particular family, faith, or person.

There is no universally correct choice.

If "passed away" feels too indirect to you, use "died." It is not cold or disrespectful. It is clear.

If "died" feels too blunt for your family, choose something gentler.

Use words that sound like the people who will actually read and remember the obituary.

How do you start an obituary for a parent?

You can begin traditionally:

Patricia Ann Williams, 74, of Midlothian, Virginia, died on May 18, 2026.

Or you can begin with the role that mattered most:

Patricia Ann Williams, a deeply loved mother and grandmother whose kitchen was rarely empty, died on May 18, 2026, at the age of 74.

Another option is to start simply and let the next sentence carry the personality:

Patricia Ann Williams, 74, died on May 18, 2026. To her children and grandchildren, she was the person you called when you needed advice, a recipe, or someone to tell you the truth.

The second approach often feels more natural because the opening sentence does not have to carry the entire emotional weight of the obituary.

How do you start an obituary for a grandparent?

You can follow the same principle.

For example:

George Henry Allen, 89, died on September 2, 2026, after a long and full life.

Or:

George Henry Allen, 89, a proud grandfather of nine and great-grandfather of six, died on September 2, 2026.

Or:

George Henry Allen died on September 2, 2026, at the age of 89. His grandchildren will remember him for strong coffee, terrible jokes, and the pocketknife he seemed able to use for absolutely everything.

A grandparent's obituary does not need to begin with the word "beloved" to show that they were loved. The details can do that work.

How do you start an obituary after an expected death?

When someone has been ill for a long time, families sometimes want to acknowledge that.

You might write:

Thomas Edward Green, 68, died on June 14, 2026, after living with pancreatic cancer for two years.

Or:

Thomas Edward Green, 68, died peacefully at home on June 14, 2026, following a long illness.

Or you can leave the illness out entirely:

Thomas Edward Green, 68, of Norfolk, Virginia, died on June 14, 2026, surrounded by his family.

The obituary does not have to explain the person's illness unless the family wants it included.

How do you start an obituary after an unexpected death?

A sudden death can make writing even harder because the family may still be trying to understand what happened.

You do not have to explain the circumstances in the opening.

A simple sentence may be best:

Daniel Christopher Lee, 41, of Alexandria, Virginia, died unexpectedly on July 11, 2026.

Or:

Daniel Christopher Lee died on July 11, 2026, at the age of 41.

If the family wants to share more information later in the obituary, they can. If they do not, they do not owe the public an explanation.

Be especially careful about writing anything that has not been confirmed.

How do you start an obituary for a younger person?

When someone dies young, phrases such as "a life well lived" or "after a long and full life" obviously may not fit.

Keep the opening simple.

For example:

Emily Grace Carter, 27, of Charlottesville, Virginia, died on July 19, 2026.

Then move quickly into who she was:

Emily was an artist, an older sister, a devoted friend, and the person most likely to show up at your door with coffee when you were having a bad day.

You do not need to make sense of a death that feels senseless.

The obituary can simply tell the truth about the person's life.

Should you mention that someone died "too soon"?

You can, but you do not have to.

Phrases such as "taken too soon" or "gone far too soon" can express something a family genuinely feels.

They are also used often enough that they can start to sound generic.

If that wording feels exactly right to the family, use it.

If not, a specific sentence about what the person meant to others may carry more weight.

For example:

At 34, Marcus had already built a life filled with friends, music, family, and plans for a future no one expected to lose.

That says something more specific than "gone too soon."

How do you start an obituary when the relationship was complicated?

You are not required to use emotionally loaded language that does not feel true.

You can simply begin with the facts:

John Michael Harris, 71, of Roanoke, Virginia, died on August 10, 2026.

Then describe the parts of his life you can write about honestly.

You do not have to call someone a "beloved father," "devoted husband," or "cherished friend" simply because those phrases commonly appear in obituaries.

Respectful does not have to mean pretending.

If this is something you are struggling with, our article on grief after a complicated relationship may help.

How do you start your own obituary?

If you are writing your own obituary ahead of time, you have more freedom because you know exactly how you want to introduce yourself.

You can be traditional:

Julie Norris, of Midlothian, Virginia, died on...

You can be conversational:

Julie Norris spent much of her life trying new things later than everyone else and eventually decided that was probably fine.

Or practical:

Julie Norris was a wife, mother, writer, teacher, creator, and lifelong starter of new projects.

You do not need to complete the final first sentence now. You can leave the date and other circumstances blank for your family to fill in later.

What matters is leaving enough of your voice and story behind that they are not starting from nothing.

What if every opening sounds too formal?

This is common.

Obituaries have a long history of formal language, and it is easy to start writing sentences that sound nothing like the people involved.

If that happens, stop trying to write "an obituary."

Imagine that someone who did not know the person asked:

Who was she?

What would you say?

Maybe:

She raised three kids, worked at the hospital for 30 years, rescued every stray cat she found, and made the best banana pudding I've ever eaten.

That may not be your opening sentence.

But now you have a voice.

You can turn it into:

Linda Mae Jenkins, 72, a retired nurse, mother of three, and lifelong rescuer of stray cats, died on September 8, 2026.

The obituary begins to sound like a person instead of a form.

A few obituary opening examples

Here are several approaches you can adapt.

Simple and traditional

James Robert Cole, 83, of Richmond, Virginia, died on August 12, 2026.

Warm but straightforward

James Robert Cole, a much-loved father, grandfather, and friend, died on August 12, 2026, at the age of 83.

Personality first

James Robert Cole, who never met a broken appliance he didn't think he could fix, died on August 12, 2026, at the age of 83.

Faith-based

James Robert Cole, 83, went home to be with the Lord on August 12, 2026, surrounded by his family.

After a long illness

James Robert Cole, 83, died peacefully on August 12, 2026, after several years of declining health.

Unexpected death

James Robert Cole, 54, died unexpectedly on August 12, 2026.

Very simple

James Robert Cole died on August 12, 2026, at the age of 83.

Any of these can work.

The right opening is the one that fits the person and gives you enough momentum to write the next sentence.

What should come after the opening sentence?

Once you have announced the death, stop worrying about the opening.

Move into the person's life.

You might write about:

For example:

James grew up in Richmond and spent 35 years working as an electrician. At home, he was the person family members called when something broke, usually because they knew he would arrive with a toolbox before they finished explaining the problem.

Now the obituary is moving.

You can always go back and change the opening later.

What if you still cannot write the first sentence?

Skip it.

Seriously.

Write the part you can write.

Start with:

Write three or four paragraphs.

Then go back to the beginning.

The first sentence often becomes much easier after you have remembered who you are writing about.

There is no rule that says an obituary has to be written from top to bottom.

The opening does not have to be perfect

When someone has died, it is very easy to feel that the words need to be exactly right.

They do not.

You are trying to write something truthful about a person who mattered.

A clear first sentence is enough to begin.

The memories, details, relationships, and small things that made them themselves are what will make the obituary worth reading.

If you want help with the rest of the obituary, continue with our step-by-step guide to writing an obituary.

If you are still deciding what information belongs in it, use the obituary checklist.

And if the words simply are not coming, you can use the free obituary writer to create a first draft and then change it until it sounds like your person.

Stuck on the first words?

Use the free obituary writer to create a starting draft, then make it sound like the person you knew.

Start an obituary →